Busted

Standing around in church, I looked over and saw one of my friends with his phone out, texting someone. I walked up to him and said, "Oooooo, who are you texting? Your secret girlfriend?"

He suddenly freaked out and said, "How does everybody know about that??" and then realized I had been kidding. Too late.

"Taken"

I was recently in Puerto Rico and my flight to Miami got canceled. As I was waiting to reschedule my flight, I texted my sister and told her I may be stuck in Puerto Rico. She responded;

"Mom told me to tell you she wants you to stay close to people, like an old couple so you dont get trafficed."

Subtle

One of my friends got a package from a girl. In the package was a burned CD, chapstick, and gum. The CD had song titles that were along the lines of "I want to spend eternity with you" and "I need you" etc etc. Subtle right? In the middle if his story, someone knocked on the door and interrupted him. After they had left, he said, "What were we talking about? Oh ya, my awkward package."

Youtube is Real Life

One of the women in my church has a really cute baby boy named Charlie. I have a friend who absolutely loves him and during church went over and picked took him from his mom and held him for a while. I was talking to the mom afterwards lauhing about how baby hungry our friend is when she said that it was probably a good thing he took him when he did because the baby had just bit her finger and she was really frustrated with him because it really hurt. Just then her husband had walked by and said, "Ouch, Charlie bit your finger? And did it really hurt?"

Is that what you had said?

The other day my old roommate and her fiancé and I were talking about how I have a tendency to not stay very single for very long. Then she said, "Ya, but I would be really better if I didn't have a boyfriend." Her fiancé and I looked at each other and then I said, "Wait.. What?!" and again she repeated, looking somewhat confused, "I would be better if I didn't have a boyfriend." We were both still really confused by what she meant and her fiancé was starting to look quite perplexed. She said, "You guys, I know I said it right. Why are you so confused? I would be so BITTER if I wasn't engaged right now." Oooooh, so that is what she meant.

I Never Learn

I handed my two boys their bowls of ice cream and started to put it away. One of them asked me why I wasn't going to eat any and I told him that I wasn't eating sugar for the rest of the school year. He of course asked why and I told him that I wanted to get skinnier, knowing full well that he, being the sweetheart that he is, would tell me that's not true. Sure enough, he replied, "But you already are skinny... Kinda."

Spiritual Fail

In a moment of spiritual enthusiasm, I changed the background of my iPod to a beautiful picture of Christ overlooking Jerusalem. Later that evening, my friend asked to see my iPod and looked confused when I gave it to her. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "Nothing. It's just your background doesn't seem very you."

I go to church with her every week and am the President of our religious org on campus.