The Birds and the Bees

I got sick today :( and had to go to health services. I was feeling nauseous, dizzy, lightheaded and had lower abdominal problems. Seeing as how Wellesley Health Services had asked Kristal if she was pregnant when she came in with an eye problem, that question was inevitable. Sure enough (though surprisingly much later in the questions than I had anticipated) she asks, "Are yo currently sexually active? Have you ever been sexually active?" I answered no to both questions and she gave me a look that clearly said she had a hard time believing me. She left me alone and ran off to do some tests to try and figure out what could possibly have been ailing me other than an unborn child.

She came back about 20 minutes later and told me a few things it for sure wasn't. Then she listed of a few things that she thought it might be but wouldn't know for a while. Then she casually said, "Oh and we ran a pregnancy test, just in case and it was negative." Surprise!? I must have given her a look cause she quickly went on "It's not that I didn't believe you... It's just that if we sent you to a specialist and something came up (like what? a baby?!) they would come back to us and ask why we didn't do a pregnancy test. So this is just to make sure we covered everything. But it's not that we didn't believe you!"

Right lady... good thing you checked because I was definitely worried. Looks like someone needs the birds and the bees lesson more than I do.

Classy

This was an old boyfriend and I's song. When I was 14. Apparently I have always been weird.

Multitasking - Fail

I was texting and walking and I tripped.

Called to Serve...

So the other day I got a missed call from an 801-number. I wondered who would be calling me from Utah but I didn't think it was too odd since I know a quite a few people from Utah. I forgot about it until the next day when they called me again while I was in the shower. I called the number back and a woman answered, "Church Headquarters." I was definitely taken aback. I told her I had a missed call from this number and she said there was nothing she could do about it because there were 8000 people there that used that same number. I hung up the phone and of course my mind raced through all of the possible reasons Church HQ would be calling me. The only thing I could think of was someone had gotten a hold of an email I had sent out about my paper I am writing or it had something to do with Institute. Neither of those really made sense but that is as creative as I got. Then I told Kristal about it. She said I was probably going to be called to be the next General Young Woman's President. We got a pretty good laugh about that one.

So the next few days I continued to wonder what they could possibly want and why they weren't calling back or leaving a message. Then, late one night while I was studying nasty calculus, my phone rang. I looked at the number and - yes! - it was them! I was excited to finally solve the mystery but also nervous to see what it was. A nice man said hello and introduced himself as Brother Miller with the Mission Department (actually, I'm pretty sure he said his first name but I don't remember and it wasn't called the Mission department but it was the department that had to do with missions so that is close enough I figure.) My heart raced. We had been talking about how they used to just ask people to serve missions back in the old days and all I could think was, "do they still do that? do I have to say yes? how could I possible say no to that? wait, I'm pretty sure they don't do that anymore? maybe I just wasn't paying attention during that part? oh crap..." and then he said, (something like) "We are trying to finish your brother's papers and we were wondering what his current address is?"

Lame.

Public Bathroom Stalls

Whenever I walk into a public bathroom I always have the same thought process. My first thought is to head for the stall furthest from the door because I assume most people will use the one closest to the door. But then I always think to myself, but what if everyone has the same logic as me? Then I should use the first one. Which is immediately followed by, well, if they all think that then they would all go to the first one. So then I don't want to go into the first one. And I am always momentarily at a loss. It happens every time.

Daily Conversations

Kristal: We are all being so studious!

Kelsey: Except Maryn, she is blogging.

Me: Hey! Blogging is the most important thing a Mormon can do!

Kelsey: Except for having babies.

Sarcasm

Every time I tried to use the excuse, "but mom, I was being sarcastic!" she would always tell me that the root of sarcasm meant "the stripping of the flesh" and whenever I was sarcastic I might as well be doing that to a person because of the emotional harm that I was causing them. My friend recently accused my of being sarcastic and I was reminded of this and I decided to Google it to see if my mom had just made it up to make me feel bad. Turns out she is right.

Latin root of sarcasm - sarco. Means tearing of the flesh. Dang it.